The Story of Hungary and her Skillet
by aph fish and chips
Summary: This is a story of love, loss, friendship, and whacking trees with cooking utensils. This story describes the journey that Hungary took to meet her beloved skillet. Enjoy!


Hungary and Skillet

"I am not a girl! I am extremely offended by you Prussia."

"But it's the truth! Suck it loser, you're a girl." Prussia and Hungary argue over whether Hungary is a girl or a boy. Oh, and news flash, Hungary is a girl. She still thinks that she is a boy because girls are "stupid" and "weak". Hungary wants to get revenge on Prussia for this "insult", but has no idea what she is going to do. This is a story of love, loss, friendship, and whacking trees with spatulas. This is the touching tale of how Hungary met Skillet.

"Stupid Prussia, he zinks zat I am a veak girly girl. I must get my revenge on him, no matter vat." Hungary, not having much experience in battle and revenge, due to the fact that other countries do not want to hurt a girl, goes to her friend Austria seeking advice.

He tells her to "show her anger and disgust through the piano". Hungary does not know a thing about classical instruments, but is that desperate. She tries it. And fails. Austria tells her that it won't work if she keeps pressing middle C continuously. So, Hungary decides to give up on the piano and get a snack. She walks into the kitchen to find adorable Chibitalia making tasty seafood pasta.

Chibitalia notices that she has come, and says, "Well hello there, Ms. Hungary! Would you like some pasta?" Hungary, offended yet again, gets so mad that she reaches for the gun conveniently sitting on the counter.

In case you have not noticed, Hungary is very sensitive and slightly psycho. She is now ready to shoot little Chibitalia. She pulls the trigger, and realizes that there was no trigger. She had grabbed a whisk instead. She realized that she was considering shooting a child, and thought that hitting would be a better alternative, at least for Chibitalia. She begins whacking Chibitalia with, you probably guessed it, a whisk. Something about the whisk does not feel right though; it vibrates too much. She thinks that a spatula would fix that. She is about to give Chibitalia another smack when Holy Roman Empire comes in and rescues his beloved bisexual chibi thing. Hungary realizes that she has been whacking an innocent child, and that she should let out her anger on something else. She feels that an island retreat is necessary.

Let's take a pause from the story for a minute, and I will let you take this in. I know, it is kind of a lot. Basically, Hungary hates it when people say that she is a girl so she gets extremely pissed at Prussia and Chibitalia for doing exactly that. She whacks Chibitalia with a whisk, then switches to a spatula, because YOLO! Right? I think that rule counts for countries… Now back to our story.

Hungary goes to a beautiful island in the middle of nowhere for a "Spatula Tree Whacking Retreat", but let's just call it a STWR to save you some time. Hungary leisurely goes around the forest on the island whacking every tree that she sees with her new bestie, Spatula. She really enjoys her STWR, and wants to just do that forever. She then remembers that she needs to return and get her revenge on Prussia. She figures that it would not be too bad if she stays a few more days.

She continues abusing plants with cooking utensils until something horrible happens. She looked down to see her beheaded spatula lying on the ground. She is not giving up now, not after this much. She goes deeper into the forest in order to fix her beloved spatula, and finds herself in a foreign but familiar town. She looks at the scenery, preparing her broken spatula for combat if necessary, and sees China. She approaches him, (reminder, Hungary still thinks that she is a dude; just checking) and asks where the hell she is because about eleven seconds ago, she was wandering around a forest. China notices the despair that lies in her right hand and says, "I have been alive for long time, making me smarter than you, so I know your spatula is un-fixable. You can sample Chinese tasty treat to feel better."

Hungary says, "I am not quite sure what you mean by tasty treat, so I will pass. Do you have something that can replace my spatula? I wanted to crush Prussia to bits with it but now that it is broken, it does not have much use."

"You can buy a wok for cheap price. It hurts and take out German." suggests China. Hungary sets out around the surprisingly large Chinatown to find the perfect wok, and realizes that the handles are extremely inconvenient, but if it can take out Germany, she could probably make do.

She does not know much about woks, so she just buys the cheapest one. "Prussia will never call me a girl again!"

Wow, Hungary is becoming almost as annoying as Sealand running around saying "I'm a country! I'm a country!" but let's leave the micro nations out of this. Hungary abuses a few palm trees with her new wok, and is now definitely ready to defeat Prussia. She goes straight to Prussia's house and is ready to crush him to bits I mean teach him a lesson.

"Prussia! I have come to defeat you in battle vith my wok!"

"Girly loser, aw look. You're crying. Soon you're going to make an awesome tear come out of my awesome eye if you keep crying about my awesomeness."

"Never! And I am not crying, I am sweating. On my face." As you may have guessed Hungary goes at Prussia with her wok. But before her first hit, she notices Russia's pipe laying on the ground conveniently; a little too conveniently. But she doesn't care cause' Hungary don't give a goulash. She decides to tape the Magic Metal Pipe of Pain to her wok in order to achieve convenient handle-ness. It works for the first few whacks, puts Prussia in a coma, but then the tape breaks. Hungary considers fixing the tape, then remembers that the pipe is not hers and that she should return it to Russia. She takes advantage of Prussia being knocked out, and goes to Russia's house.

Hungary, along with most countries, is terrified of Russia. She talks to Lithuania to avoid contact. While she is there, she asks, "I don't know vat to do! I need a cooking utensil to beat Prussia with, and zis wok is not very easy to hold."

"Well I do not know much about cooking utensils, but I do know that you should stay away from Britain. I would suggest talking to the Hetalia Academy Cooking Club. I am sure that they will have some extras." Hungary takes Lithuania's advice and goes to the Cooking Club and completely avoids Britain. The cooking club sends her home with a mountain of pots and pans.

Hungary walked home with all of her kitchen tools, and decided to take a nap after such a long walk. As she slept, she got a visitation from God. He said, "I will place a diamond on the weapon that is right for you. You can wake up now."

As much as Hungary was enjoying her nap, she was also very curious to know what her fate would be, or at least what she would use to kick Prussia's ass. Again. She arises to find a small jewel sitting on a pan like no other, no wait, a skillet. She picks up the skillet. It is perfect. She can definitely crush Prussia now. She gives the skillet a few swings and feels as if she has been using it for years. She knows that it is the one, and not just because God told her that it is the one. Hungary REALLY wants to go on another STWR, but decides that she will do that after she defeats Prussia. With a skillet.

"Prussia, I am back! After this, you will never call me a girl again!"

"Well, have you looked your chest lately?"

"Vat?! No! Why would I do that?"

"Just listen to my awesomeness and look."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"You see?"

I will not go into too much detail here, for those of you who have your parents looking over your shoulder wondering what exactly Prussia is trying to imply by saying "look at your chest", but more importantly wondering why the hell are you shipping countries?! Just use context clues (not on the shipping thing; that will always remain a mystery).

Well, now that Hungary knows that she is a girl, she no longer has such an urge to murder Prussia. I am not saying that her rage is gone, but it is not quite as strong as it was earlier. Hungary is now ready to get back to the island for another STWR. But now, the S no longer stands for spatula, but for skillet.

If you have or have ever had a best friend that is so close that you feel like they are your brother or sister, I think that I know how you feel. And let me tell you, your friendship is nothing even close to Hungary's love for her skillet. It doesn't matter how close you think you are, you just cannot compete with Hungary's strong and everlasting love for her plant abuser I mean skillet.

The End! Like this story and follow the writer or Hungary will whack you with her skillet! Thank you for reading!


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